Hello love bugs! I'm Mariah Rae. This is my personal blog. Which means this is where you will find my daily rambles. I enjoy the simple things in life like sunsets, and rainstorms. My passions are writing, graphic design, and photography. I bring my camera almost everywhere I go because I live to capture moments. I am choosing web design, and photography as my professions. All in all though I am just another hopeless romantic, that wears her heart on her sleeve. If you want to know more, just message me. I love my followers, because they inspire me to be myself. They accept me for who I am, and who I am growing to be. If you need advice, I am here to help you! I think you deserve someone to be there for you, and with that being said I'll listen to any problem you may have. xo Stay beautiful.
Refresh Messaging and contact info More links Theme designUpdate <3
- I broke my hand. My sugar levels got to low, I Fell twice, and started convulsing. I’m fine, and recovering.
- I’m getting into web design.
- I love all of you.
Today Consisted of
- watching Hannah montana.
- making food, and eating food.
- working out for a total of ten minutes. (LOL)
- sleeping
- & ignoring texts.
Mariah = productive today.
Simple things in life.
I have always tried to appreciate the simple things. Like a warm bed to cuddle in at night, or clean drinking water. I love how I can walk over to my mac book, have a play list going, and get ready, or drift away in peace. I love how my country has proper health care, so when I do get sick, I am looked after almost immediately. I love my followers, and how they read all my daily ramblings, and rants.
Summary of the past few weeks.
Hey guys! I’ve been meaning to sit down, and write a post to update you in details why I am lacking updates. The last few weeks have been crazy to say the least.
I’ll start off with my career, and the options that I am over looking currently. I work as a photographer, and in a graphic design studio. I do the have the opportunity to take over this studio. However, here is my dilemma, the graphics are more for signage, and not web based. I thought we would make banners, and so on. Don’t get me wrong, my job has perfect hours, and my boss is quite fun to be around. I am thankful for this opportunity, but I really want to go back to school too for web design, I don’t know. What do I do? Keep working, and buy the business, than sell it in a few years, and then go back to school? Or keep working, and go to school, and then make the decision. I really don’t want to let go of this job yet.
Secondly, I think a large portion of my followers know I deal with anxiety, and depression. I am doing everything in my power to change this. However, I am still dealing with it. It’s been four years, and honestly the break downs are becoming more frequent. I don’t ask for a lot of help, or support. I’m sure a few of you can relate that when you go through it, people just don’t understand. However, I don’t expect them to at this point. I surely don’t understand why it all happens. My feelings definitely get hurt when my family says I am hard to be around, and hard to deal with. I’m a very sensitive person. I care way too much about others, and I usually get hurt a lot. I don’t sit at home everyday throwing a pity party for myself. To be completely honest with you, I think some of it is caused by health complications with diabetes. I don’t think they understand how serious it is, and how much it can control a persons emotions, and well being. I am still trying to collect the pieces of what it could be, and I have very little faith in my doctors right now. As they just don’t have answers. Or they give me the same answer. I am blessed to live in a country where there is proper medical care if needed. I am not complaining about that. I am going this monday for more testing, and to try to take another approach at this. All I have to say is if you think you’re alone in feeling like nothing will ever change, you’re not alone. I am here for you, and I care. <3
Most recent picture of me! c:
Update <3
Hey loves. <3 It’s been awhile since I last updated. I wanted to know any of you can add me on facebook, here. I have been super busy with life. With healing, and continuing to recover from my depression. I’ve been a little stressed out, because I have a major decision that will change my life either way. I thought I would tell you though that I am revamping my blog this weekend. & I am going into web design, so maybe when I learn more from that class, I’ll start making themes for the public to use. It won’t be very often, but I’ll try! How are you all doing? c:
Hi, Hello. I bet you look wonderful today.
Today, I was sitting at lunch talking to my boss about bullying. I told her a little bit about my blog, and how I always stand up against it. I always will. Let me tell you a story ..
Back in the seventh grade, a boy a couple years older than me shot him self. People teased him so much in his grade that he decided to take his own life. The day that it was announced was a day I’ll never forget. His class mates were in complete shock, and not to mention they felt guilty. His mom, came to our school and gave them all a stuffed animal of his. Everyone was crying. Thinking about that day still makes me cry. There were grief councilors. We all signed a book for his family, sending them prayers, and love. Honestly, I was still livid with those who bullied him. Apologizing at that point of time only did so much. That is why I want you all to remember that you should always be careful to what you say to people.
Update <3
Hey guys, it’s definitely been a few days since my last post. Just wanted to touch base, and let you know I am alive, and recovering. I’ve been slowly getting back into my work routine, and focusing on that. I went shopping with my best friend about a week ago and bought two neon hoodies, which I love! Some new make up from M-A-C, and a zebra hat from H&M. I’ll probably take pictures eventually, and post them for you! I hope you’re all doing good, and don’t be afraid to send me a message if you need someone to talk to! xo
Hospital trips, and amazing followers.
Okay, So if you follow my other blogs. You would know already I’ve had a little set back. I was rushed into the hospital tuesday night, because of high blood sugars, intense pains, and shortage of breath. I was hooked up to an IV, so they could re-hydrate me, and start an insulin drip. They checked my vitals every half hour, ran ECG cords, and gave me oxygen. They had to take blood 13 times under 15 hours, so they could check my electro lytes. I’m much better, at home and I have been blessed with many get well messages. xo . Oh, and it’s my birthday on saturday! I love you guys! Stay beautiful. xo
So busy.
New job is fantastic. My boss sings random songs by Katy Perry, and three days grace. She’s probably in her mid fifties . She’s so nice, and she noticed i was sick today, and called me a trooper. Just showing her appreciation by making note of it meant a lot. My hours are so perfect too. I think I could really take this over if I stay dedicated to it. I am coming down with a sinus cold though, so I am off to bed with some tea. My best friend is here, and it’s so nice to have her. <3
Hi, I love you. <3
Spring Changes
So much is going on right now! I’m keeping busy, because I found myself just not happy at all. In a few days, my best friend that lives eight hours away from me is coming to visit me. I start my training to take over a business in a couple weeks. Health wise, I am still seeing four doctors from time to time, but they are truly the best. My cousin just won his hockey game, and they are now our citys champions. I am so proud of him. I’ve tried to send everyone messages back! If I missed yours, just message me again, and I’ll get back to you! I will be doing another advice post soon! Promise. Send me some topic ideas. xo
Life has so many little blessings.
Whenever I get sick, or I’m miserable I try to think about those who aren’t as fortunate as I am. The people with out a roof over their head. The people with the sound of bombs being set off as an alarm clock. I think of those who have life threatening illnesses, and have no way of seeking medical attention. I think of those who are in unbearable pain, and they have nothing to comfort them.
Yes, I struggle with severe depression, but I have a mum that supports me. She loves me. Even if I have had many complications in my life. I have a wonderful place to call home. I have the freedom to get food when my stomach isn’t full, and clean drinking water. I have very few friends, but the ones I have love me, and try to understand my situation the best they can. I have a comfortable bed, with numerous pillows, and blankets. I have so many extra things too. Like a tv, xbox, my mac book. Materialistically, I am incredibly blessed. I am thankful for my team of doctors, and how much they care about me. I’ve been at critical risk a couple of times, and every time I have been able to walk out of the hospital again, and breathe clean air. Life has many blessings. Yes we get hurt, and things aren’t always perfect, but think of those who literally have nothing. Fight for those who can’t. Who are on life support, and thinking which breath will be their last one. If you’re depressed, or have health issues. I know what you’re going through. Stay strong. Your life is worth more than you think.
I wish my life was like a Nicholas sparks novel
Then I would know in the end I’d get my happy ever after.
